things aren't as they seem..

My heart feels kinda heavy.. I feel lik a prick.. Sometimes I feel I'm not good enough.. So much so tt I feel lik crying.. But I hold on n wait again n again..

I need to keep myself from breaking down..

Alter my thoughts so tt I don't hurt anyone else..

I'm tryin so hard tt I wish I don't do anything to hurt u..

I'm torn.. I'm hurt... But I keep ignoring myself Juz for u..

Yet I always keep asking myself.. Y am I doin dis again every single rs tt I go thru??

Yet I'm stubborn.. Always pushing myself until everyone says I'm no longer smiling but forcing myself again...

Yet I want to.. I'm not da easiest person to know or to live wif..

But I always try to make things easier for others..

I sacrifice because I love.. Coz I'm born to love.. Pain bearer.. Onli few Will see a glimpse of my pain.. None Will experience or expect my pain.. None Will ever know my full extent of it.. Coz no one else can bear it.. Any single person who sees it, Will run far away from me.. Either tt or deny it or betray me.. Or even make a mockery out of me..

Everything has been taken away from me.. Wat more can I offer anymore?? I've been robbed of everything..

I've nth left.. I'm Juz an empty shell..

My tears mean nth to anyone..

I cry till I'm no longer feeling anything but Juz pain.. I grief but I Nv showed it..

So numbed wif pain..

I'm Juz greeted wif silence..

It hurts.. All tt longing.. All tt betrayals.. It hurts a lot..

Yet it takes courage to step up n to love a person entirely.. It takes all tt bravery to deal wif da hurts n false fronts tt pple gif... It takes patience to learn a person n to be tolerant to others.. It takes endurance to face up betrayals n to deal wif all tt pain...

Do I really haf tt in me???

Wat is so special for u to want me at all???

Can u deal wif all tt I go thru everyday???

I dun do well wif lies n deception.. N I haf been honest to u since day one..

I'm doin dis because I love u...

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